Way back in my first post, I said there was a battle being waged inside me between religion and atheism, hence the name Kemetic vs. Atheist. I now have a confession to make.
The battle is over. The Kemetic won.
So I feel like the title of this blog really isn’t accurate anymore. But at the moment I don’t have a better idea of what to name it.
What is changing? Absolutely nothing. I still like separation of church and state. I still want to criticize churches when they do something worth criticizing. And I will still occasionally want to talk about my faith.
Why did the Kemetic win? Because I realized that for me to turn my back on Kemeticism at this point, I would have to turn my back on Aset (Isis), who helped me in my hour of need. That would be like turning my back on my husband, or my parents, or my best friend. Could I do it? Of course not. Could I do it in the future? I guess…but I hope not.
So what was the worst night of my life like, that Aset helped me once (actually more than once – She helped me after that too) and thereby won my undying devotion? We may get into that at some point. I may write a blog post in the future about what my OCD was doing to me that night (when I have confidence that there would be a point to that kind of soul-baring). In the meantime, you’ll just have to take my word for it: She deserves everything I can give Her.
But I want you all to continue to feel welcome here, because like I said, in practical terms, nothing is changing for this blog, except perhaps the name, if inspiration hits at some point.
That’s all I’ve got for now. Thoughts? Please leave them below. Thanks!
Kemetic vs. Atheist 
I think I came to a similar conclusion, recently. So, I applaud your bravery. I also struggle with my own thoughts about whether or not the Netjeru are “real”, but I’ve finally come to peace with the fact that they are real to me, even if I can admit that there may be no objective, empirical evidence for such (only my subjective experience). Because of this, your post really spoke to me.
As the others have said, I think you are choosing a religion for the right reason – it has lead you to comfort and growth. What’s more, I think this blog is evidence that your faith (in some part) pushes you to think and analyze your world, and I think that’s a good reason to keep a religion, too. Religion should make you think, and yours seems to be tempered with a healthy dose of realism and logic.
Again, I really applaud your bravery. It can be tough to say such things in a modern world. This was an inspiring read.
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Thanks so much. I dithered about whether or not to post it, so I’m glad it made a difference to you. 🙂
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I am reminded of a quote I read on alt.atheism.moderated once: “we are both atheists, I just believe in one fewer god than you do.” I like that part of the quote, but then it goes on: “When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods, you will understand why I dismiss yours.”
Your reason for not dismissing Aset is the one reason I can think of that I wouldn’t dismiss her either. Although I’ve never encountered Aset personally, I don’t have any problem with believing she helped you. I may not need her help; she may have better things to do–who knows? I used to get so upset that I had never met Jesus or seen Jesus or never had any evidence of his love or even existence. I thought I must be defective or there was something wrong with me. Or worse. But no, I was just an atheist.
I guess many atheists do go around insisting that other people not believe in the same gods that they themselves don’t believe in, but that strikes me as a little silly. I think the only way to point to Truth (capital T) is for all of us to be honest about our own personal truths.
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Thanks, Karen.
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Sounds to me as if you have chosen a religion for the best reason – that it gives you comfort in times of stress (or distress).
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Thanks, Glenn.
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