A few weeks ago, I attended my last Unitarian Universalist service.
At first, the problem was that I was going to church more often than I was doing rite. Rite, my shorthand for Daily Rite (since I usually don’t do it every day, like I should), was coming second to going to church (a weekly event). My focus was on the wrong thing – being a UU, not being a Kemetic. But I solved that by doing rite more often. Now I do it a few times a week.
But there was something else. During the last service I attended, I was required (requested?) to say the word “blessed” a few times. This caused some discomfort, and it took some time to figure out why. After all, I am religious again now, so why did that word cause me problems? I started reading The Book of the Dead to see if it included the word “blessed,” and it showed up about 15 times (a number that may or may not be an exaggeration). But the language I was using to pray, the language that Daily Rite uses, doesn’t involve that word. I say stuff like this instead: “May I shine like Ra, having putting aside all that disrupts Ma’at. May I shine each day in your presence, O Netjer, as Ra shines on the horizon. May I live each day so that Ma’at may ascend.” Very different.
In fact, the language of the Unitarian Universalists sounds more like that of the faith I gave up (Catholicism) than it does my current faith (Kemeticism). And it makes me uncomfortable.
Is that a “legitimate” reason for quitting the UUs? It is to me.
Is it possible that I’m still enough of an atheist that that’s the real reason I had a problem with the word “blessed”? Oh yeah, it’s definitely possible. I won’t pretend that it isn’t. I had a hard time even getting this far in figuring it out.
At any rate, here I am, back to being a solitary, for all intents and purposes. It’s okay. I didn’t convert to this faith to socialize with other Kemetics, although that would be nice at some point. I get a certain amount of socializing virtually, through emails and Facebook, and even WordPress. The reason I am a Kemetic is because Isis (I call her Aset, as the ancient Egyptians would have) came to my rescue when no one else would. And that deserves something from me.