A few weeks ago, I attended my last Unitarian Universalist service.
At first, the problem was that I was going to church more often than I was doing rite. Rite, my shorthand for Daily Rite (since I usually don’t do it every day, like I should), was coming second to going to church (a weekly event). My focus was on the wrong thing – being a UU, not being a Kemetic. But I solved that by doing rite more often. Now I do it a few times a week.
But there was something else. During the last service I attended, I was required (requested?) to say the word “blessed” a few times. This caused some discomfort, and it took some time to figure out why. After all, I am religious again now, so why did that word cause me problems? I started reading The Book of the Dead to see if it included the word “blessed,” and it showed up about 15 times (a number that may or may not be an exaggeration). But the language I was using to pray, the language that Daily Rite uses, doesn’t involve that word. I say stuff like this instead: “May I shine like Ra, having putting aside all that disrupts Ma’at. May I shine each day in your presence, O Netjer, as Ra shines on the horizon. May I live each day so that Ma’at may ascend.” Very different.
In fact, the language of the Unitarian Universalists sounds more like that of the faith I gave up (Catholicism) than it does my current faith (Kemeticism). And it makes me uncomfortable.
Is that a “legitimate” reason for quitting the UUs? It is to me.
Is it possible that I’m still enough of an atheist that that’s the real reason I had a problem with the word “blessed”? Oh yeah, it’s definitely possible. I won’t pretend that it isn’t. I had a hard time even getting this far in figuring it out.
At any rate, here I am, back to being a solitary, for all intents and purposes. It’s okay. I didn’t convert to this faith to socialize with other Kemetics, although that would be nice at some point. I get a certain amount of socializing virtually, through emails and Facebook, and even WordPress. The reason I am a Kemetic is because Isis (I call her Aset, as the ancient Egyptians would have) came to my rescue when no one else would. And that deserves something from me.
Kemetic vs. Atheist 
To expand on what Mel wrote, I’ve quit individual UU churches over issues like this (not the same one; everyone has his/her own thing). When I lived in the Boston area, it was easy to find another one.
I am having some trouble finding one I really like here in the SF Bay area, though. The UU church I’ve been going to semi-regularly opens every service with “the UU Church of XXXX, where we transform ourselves and the world.” I have a problem with the word “transform” in that context. I think that word is overused and used too lightly if it’s something that you have to say every week in church. Rather, I think transformation should be a handful-of-times in a lifetime event, if that. (For myself, I’m not particularly interested in it at all; I’m more of a slow-incremental-change kind of gal). So I’ve been debating whether I want to stick with this church or not. I’m actually trying a different one this Sunday, with a friend.
But in the back of my mind I still think about other words I’ve had trouble with in UU churches, more Christian words, like blessed. I was raised Presbyterian, and I attended a Lutheran church in my early-to-mid 20’s. I left Christianity in my late 20s and became a UU a couple years later. I had some baggage associated with those changes. In particular, I was very angry with my Christian ex-boyfriend, and I transferred some of my anger at him towards other Christians who had themselves done me no harm. In UU, I encountered a gentler, less judgemental Christianity, and I started to loosen up and be able to let go of some of that misplaced anger. I’m still not a Christian but I feel more comfortable being around it now. Living with and moving beyond that discomfort was helpful to me.
I’m not saying that’s what you should do. You have the kimetic faith that you are practicing now and it makes sense that you want to honor that first and foremost. Just a perspective that sometimes our discomfort with particular faith-associated words can point us towards growth.
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Kemetic, not Kimetic. Sorry for the misspelling.
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It’s a very good point, and I’m still wrestling with it. Writing this post makes me sound very sure of myself, but I’m not. I might decide that my problem with “blessed” is unfounded. Thanks for your comments.
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There’s a lot of variation in individual UU churches. I wouldn’t generalize about language from your experience in one church. However, the UU faith is so small that in most areas areas you don’t have the option of trying another.
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Fair enough, Mel. There’s only one UU church in Tallahassee, and the next closest is in Valdosta, a two-hour drive. I’ll have to think about it.
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I didn’t mean to suggest that you keep searching for a UU church if you’re not moved to. I just didn’t want to leave the generalization out there. You might look into the UU Church of the Larger Fellowship, which is for people who don’t have or want a local church. There’s also an active FB page, Unitarian Universalism – “Faith of the Free”, that you might appreciate.
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I thought I understood what you meant, but thanks for further clarifying. I’ll check out the FB page.
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